Childhood

My seizures have caused me to have memory problems.

One thing about me is that my seizures used to be a lot worse than they currently are. Another thing is that they used to cause me to have memory problems. They were so bad that I not only lost short term memory, I also lost long term memory. My seizures thankfully aren’t as bad these days as they used to be, but I still do not remember my childhood (up to age 13).

I never had a problem with that. I wasn’t that curious about what my childhood was like. I was more focused on what my life was currently like. I had great friends (still do), God has been teaching me more and more throughout my life, and I have a family that loves me and has helped me whenever I’ve needed them. I didn’t feel like there was a need to know about my childhood.

When I was 14, my dad and I got a paper in the email from court that we were expected to sign. I was really confused about what was going on. Why was the court giving me and my dad papers that we needed to sign? I talked with my dad about everything, and apparently it had to do with a very traumatic childhood that I had. I will admit that the only stories of my childhood that I’m aware of are stories that I’ve been told, but I am definitely okay with that.

It sounds like I had a very traumatic childhood. Maybe that’s why I’m the only person in the family that has seizures. I don’t know. Anyways, it sounds like there was a 9 month period of my life when I was younger that had a bad impact on me. Sometimes I wonder if God possibly allowed me to lose my long term memory so that I wouldn’t be haunted or whatever by what happened. I know that this story is very broad, but that’s because my dad knows the story better than I do. I also don’t know how he’d feel about me going into the details about it, even though he was clearly a very good dad. He was not the problem.

I don’t know for sure why God allowed me to forget my childhood, but I at least know that He has a very good reason for it. I’m at least grateful to know that much.

God may do things in your life that you don’t understand, but that doesn’t mean that God doesn’t have a bad reason (or no reason) for what happened. Be grateful to at least know that. I have learned that I can be grateful to God for things He does/allows even if I have no understanding of why. I hope you realize that in your life as well.